Things I Want To Do Differently With Baby Two| Pregnancy Diaries

With a new baby on the way, it’s got me thinking about the things I’d like to try to do differently compared to when Little London was a baby.

Whether I chose convenience or just let the fear stop me from trying something with him, I just don’t know.  I don’t regret the way I brought him up at all, and if all my attempts to try to parent differently this time around go wrong I won’t be disappointed.

But not attempting and not trying to push my own parenting boundaries will make me feel disheartened.  For me it’s about testing something to see if I can make it work.  If it doesn’t at least I tried.

So if any mums have advice or tips on the following subjects please do leave a comment below!

Milk

  • Little London

I had a horrific birth with Little London.  It meant there was no skin to skin post birth and trying to establish that initial contact with him to help bring my milk in was stunted because he was in intensive care.  I didn’t get him back by my bed side for three days and by that point he’d been fed on a sugar drip and some bottles.  But overall he was starving.

I never felt his latch was right when we attempted to breast feed but I was told otherwise.  I know breastfeeding does hurt many women, but I just couldn’t get through the pain, the blood and the negative emotion it was leaving me with.  Having had an emergency caesarean and already being in pain certainly didn’t help.  My best decision was to end the cycle and give him the bottle.  I don’t regret that for one moment.

  • Baby Girl

I would love to be able to breastfeed this time around.  It’s not so much ‘breast is best’ for me.  It’s that breast will be more convenient for me.  Having a toddler and trying to get out of the house will be a lot easier if I’m not having to worry about bottles and sterilising.  Plus we’ve booked an amazing holiday to South East Asia for three weeks next year, and I like the idea of not having to lug cartons of milk powder and sterilising equipment around the globe.

I’ve specifically chosen a hospital to give birth in that have an outstanding post natal care team.  And I’m hoping with them we can work out the breast-feeding issues I had previously.  Skin to skin contact is something I want immediately after birth as well, and I believe because of the gestational diabetes I have to collect my colostrum into syringes before the birth, so hopefully the baby won’t be as hungry as Little London was when we attempted breast-feeding.

Baby Wearing   

  • Little London

My son never liked being in his carrier.  And so we never forced it with him.  As he got older we regretted it because there were certain situations where a carrier would have been much more helpful.

  • Baby Girl

I suppose having a toddler means I need to be hands free sometimes, and so having a baby in a carrier will make my life that much easier.  For me it won’t replace the pram but if we’re out and Little London gets tired I know I can sit him in the pram and baby wear the baby.  I certainly don’t need a double pram because it’s rare that Little London needs to be pushed these days.  But I don’t want to be caught out by having to carry a tired toddler while pushing the baby or vice versa without support.

I realise now that some carriers just don’t suit certain babies.  I never knew that with Little London, so I’m hoping to visit a sling library and test out what’s on the market before we buy a carrier.

Cloth Nappies

  • Little London

I had visions of being a great earth mum before I had Little London but when he arrived my world was tipped upside down, so I’m glad I didn’t buy an expensive batch of reusable nappies.  I don’t think I would have coped.  I’ve never once thought about switching since having him.  So for us, at the time disposable was what we needed.

  • Baby Girl

Being more prepared for the physical and emotional side of birth I hope I’m in a better place mentally to cope with alternative methods of parenting.

Cloth nappies are something I’ve not done any research into, so I don’t know the best brands or even how to really deal with a soiled nappy when out.

However like I said above, we are travelling for three weeks next year and being able to reuse nappies instead of bringing literally hundreds of them with us will make our lives easier.  I know we can buy disposable nappies abroad and I’m likely to perhaps buy some while we’re out there because they are convenient.  But it does worry me that if we end up somewhere remote and run out of nappies it may just cause full on panic!

Plus if I can get on board with them it’s nice to have that alternative choice.  What does worry me is nappy rash.  Little London can only wear Pampers because all other brands give him nappy rash.  Having never used a reusable nappy I don’t know if that is an issue to be concerned with.

Baby Weaning

  • Little London

Baby led weaning was and still is big news when it comes to baby weaning.  But for me I just wasn’t comfortable with the idea.  I know many parents who chose the baby led weaning way and had no issues at all.  So I feel like it was my own fear that held me back here.

I decided to wean Little London using baby rice and baby porridge which he loved.  And then I moved on to ready-made baby food.  Starting with the single flavoured puree jars and pouches before upping the texture levels and flavour complexities as and when I felt it was appropriate.

With so many great ready prepared products on the market I found it easier and more convenient baby weaning Little London using shop bought baby food, especially as when I did make my own food for him he would turn his nose up at it and refuse to eat anything.  He was very fussy over his flavours back then and didn’t like to vary from the textures he had grown accustomed to.

He eats really well now, and has a varied palate so again I don’t regret choosing this route with Little London, especially because we did have issues with him having quite a forward gag reflex.  But it did make the weaning process quite tedious and I would panic if we were low on jarred goods!

  • Baby Girl

I really want to try to get my head around the baby led weaning concept.  I know it’s my own fear, and it’s something I need to overcome.  Perhaps if I went and did a brush up on a first aid course I’d feel more confident that if anything did happen I would be able to calmly deal with it.

Having an older brother means baby girl will probably have biscuits thrust into her hands when my back is turned so being able to just feel confident that she can play, chew and nibble will make me feel a lot calmer about the weaning stage with her and not worry so much about leaving the room for 5 minutes.

I would love to enjoy the weaning stage a lot more second time around and think perhaps baby led weaning will be easier and nicer for us all as a family.

Did you try something different second time around and love it? Let me know, and if you have any advice on the above please leave me a comment and pass on your worldly knowledge. 

thelondonmum

70 Comments

  1. With our twins we used cloth and baby wore. I absolutely loved it and so did they, we use amber as well, I’m not overly earthy but every little helps x

    • Totally, every thing that might help I think I want to try and make work. We did buy an amber anklet for Little London but his legs was too chubby that it never fit! And I just never bought another, but I know people literally swear by them!

    • I think there’s always something you want to try out with another kid- just to see 😉

  2. I think that wanting to attempt to do some things differently this time around is probably a very normal thing. You have had some experience with doing things one way with Little London and now you can see what you might have liked to do differently and it just makes sense to try doing them the way you wish with your baby girl. I wish you much luck and hope all goes well x

    • I’m hoping it all goes to plan, but if I manage to only do one of these things then that’ll be better than before at least! lol

  3. I also went through this with best feeding for weeks I wondered if she was latched properly as it hurt like hell. I had so much milk that it didn’t matter anyway as she always got enough. It just meant I had terribly sore nipples and mastitis twice!! I would say that breast feeding is the most excruciating thing in the world at first but that if you stick with it it does get easier. I breast fed for 14 months in the end. Good luck! Xx
    Sarah Cantwell recently posted…The things I wish I had known before giving birthMy Profile

    • I really hope my milk comes in better this time, I’m going to take it a bit easier the first few days and try and get everything stimulated while I’m feeding the baby the colostrum by syringe and I hope the gentler approach will work in my favour.

  4. I think being a mum is probably one of the hardest jobs, there are always things that you want to change and if you can and it gives you extra happiness – great. I do think mothers are too hard on themselves though x
    Planet Jodie recently posted…The Power of NailsMy Profile

    • WE are so hard on ourselves, always trying to do better where we can. It’s an exhausting job! lol

    • I’m apprehensive because of nappy rash- and we’ve never had any issues with our son at all. But I can see how they’d be so useful and beneficial for certain situations.

  5. I can relate to some of these things like breastfeeding and baby wearing as i really wanted to do them things with Blake and it didnt work out. I hope If we have anymore children that I will be able to try these things again and i definitely wish I had more support when it came to breastfeeding.I hope it all works out for you this time round.

    • For me it’s the right kind of support. I’ve said to my midwife already that I want to breastfeed but I know my limits and they need to respect that. If at any point I feel like they’re being forceful or too pushy rather than helpful I’ve said I’m likely to go the other way as it’s in my nature. I want it to work but need the right approach with the right people.

    • Yeah that’s the thing I don’t want to be snowed under with hem, but I can see how they’re so useful to have.

  6. I have a lot of friends who have done things differently, one has just had a new baby and is trying cloth nappies for the first time. I think it is a natural thing to want to do things differently especially as you are more prepared second time around

    • Even just to test something different and say I didn’t like it- I just fancy the challenge and the new trials.

    • That’s what I’m hoping. I’m hoping I go into it more prepared and know more about what I’m doing and what to expect. They give you all the lessons at antenatal classes before your first baby but really that information is rubbish when reality hits.

  7. Eeek your beautiful new baba will be here before we know it!! I had the same ideas for second time around as well (apart from the cloth nappies!). Baby wearing is the best! Although L isn’t that fussed anymore haha 🙂 xx
    This Mama Life recently posted…Weekend Tot Style #54My Profile

    • Cloth nappies only popped into my head after the number of nappies we take away with us when we travel lol. I figure I can just reuse the same ones… I’m thinking long term plan! lol

    • Oh that’s the beauty of babies isn’t it- try as you might some things just aren’t in our control! lol

    • I think I’ll also be a lot less tough on myself and give up things that just don’t work without that guilt. x

  8. Yeah I wrote a blog post about it. I can’t even remember half the stuff. I wanted to try a carrier with my second and I’m sure she would have loved it because I got nothing done with her but I was put off by how difficult it looks to put the carrier on.
    Janine Dolan recently posted…Evo Play iPad CaseMy Profile

    • Yeah I know what you mean. I’m researching all of them now, and I want something that’s safe and easy!

  9. I was really lucky to get skin to skin contact and I know it made breast feeding so much easier. Although, still not easy at all.

    • I think it’ll just help my body just be more prepared than what I was with Little London. I’m prepared for the anguish and pain this time around. No one quite tells you just how bad it is!

    • I do think an EMCS just doesn’t prep your mind or body in the right way. I can totally understand why you never tried again.

  10. I had an emergency section with our eldest girl and it really throws you emotionally! It was so difficult establishing our breastfeeding routine and oh my goodness I can completely agree with you on the pain and blood of it. But the one thing I learnt from having our second is don’t put any pressure on yourself. Whatever your choice will be perfect for you and baby 🙂 xxx
    Georgina recently posted…30 Week Pregnancy UpdateMy Profile

    • It’s that lack of pressure I’m hoping that will see me succeed. Knowing that at any point I can change my mind without guilt is what will see me persevere.

  11. I don’t have a baby yet, but I know breastfeeding is really the best for your baby, i hope this time you can do that!

  12. I think it’s a great idea to consider the fact that you’ll also have a toddler in the mix this time around, that changes everything! Whatever choices you make with your second I’m sure you’ll go for what feels right for your own child 🙂

    • Hopefully I get into some sort of rhythm or routine that helps everything just work together.

  13. I dont have kids but am hoping to have some in the ext few years. Luckily I have plenty of cousins with lots of advice on how they would have done things differently if they’d known more so I’m set up well with advice! I think you feel your way with the first one and after that one things come much easier

    • I think so, the second baby isn’t as overwhelming and just has to slot into our lives.

  14. I breastfed my second for the same reasons you want to – convenience! Plus its so much cheaper than tubs of formula! I formula fed my first child as breastfeeding just wasn’t happening with him he couldn’t latch and I had no idea what I was doing so it ended up becoming too painful. With my second boy he got it straight away and although painful for the first week it was much more bearable as my nipples weren’t split and I got through it! Hope it works out for you this time round!

    • THat’s what I’m hoping will happen this time around. It’s always worth giving it a go 🙂

    • Who knows if it’ll work or not but there’s no harm in trying 🙂

  15. My advice would be to just go with the flow and see what happens. All my births and children were so different and stressful as well as beautiful in their different ways. Have some ideas about what you’d like to do but don’t be too hard on yourself if they don’t work out. The main thing is that you’re all together.

    • This time around I’m much more relaxed. Although I know what I would like to do I’m also not going to force or push anything that makes me or the baby upset. I’m feeling much more secure with how I’ll deal with my decisions if they don’t work out 🙂 x

    • Yes I agree, this time around I’m much more relaxed about things. I don’t think I’ll have that guilt or anxiety if something doesn’t work and feel like I’m being judged on my choices as much 🙂

  16. Each child is different so it is important to change things up to suit their needs! Good for you fab post! L x

  17. Such a good post I enjoy reading this and I am relate with this when I’m on these stage. Breastfeeding was so hard for me But I’m so glad I achieve it

    • I’m hoping that with better support I’ll be able to push past it this time. I just think it really would be so convenient.

  18. you learn from your first but also will learn more with this second one. baby two might be totally different to little london. just take it as it goes 🙂

    • Oh I will, I’m not going to put pressure on myself at all with this baby. If things work that’s great and if they don’t I just won’t stress about it.

  19. Oh congratulations – I had missed your happy news. I’m definitely in favour of keeping an open mind and taking it as it comes with children. I did things differently with all 3 of mine.

    • I love that! Yes I’m going in with an open mind but perhaps a bit more of a real push at trying things that I gave up on much quicker first time around 🙂

  20. “I know breastfeeding does hurt many women, but I just couldn’t get through the pain, the blood and the negative emotion it was leaving me with.”

    Breastfeeding is uncomfortable at first and it can be a little painful, but it should never be unbearable and there definitely shouldn’t be blood!

    There was something wrong. Tongue tie, poor latch, inadequate supply, whatever it was, it was not normal.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with switching to a bottle if breastfeeding is making you feel terrible – unhappy mama is not good for baby either! But it’s a shame you weren’t given the right support and help so you could choose whether to breast or bottle feed, rather than feeling you had no option.

    I think the most important thing anyone told me about breastfeeding was it should never be *that* bad. Uncomfortable, hard to get right, some pain at first, but if you are sobbing through every feed, or hating the thought of having to feed your hungry baby, THIS IS NOT RIGHT!

    Get help. It may (or may not) be fixable, you may not want to carry on, but it is definitely not right.

    • I spoke to a local mum today who gave birth at my chosen hospital and said that the post natal care and help with breastfeeding there was amazing. I’m hoping that I’ll get all he support this time around, and I’m keen to consider nipple shields for the first few weeks just to help protect my nipples (the fear is there already) until the flow is established and I feel more comfortable with trying the baby directly on the nipple. Thank you for the advice.

  21. On cloth nappies – we are doing it for our little one, however we didn’t start until she was about 4 weeks and the fog of having a newborn had lifted.
    It’s my husbands thing. They are slightly more of a faff and although I’m used to it now, I’d have told him where to stick them in the first few weeks!

    Some areas do nappy libraries like sling libraries, and some places will do hire, so you can try before you buy.

    As for nappy rash, there is no guarantees over this, but my LO doesn’t get nappy rash with the cloth nappies but did with the disposables. I think she is mildly allergic to something in them rather than it being the wee on her skin.

    • I never knew nappy libraries existed- I’ll have to try and find if my area has something like that. Interesting that your LO didn’t getting nappy rash with cloth nappies but did with disposable. Maybe they would have been better for my son considering every nappy brought him out in a rash bar pampers.

  22. There are many huge brands out there but I would prefer to use bamboo nappies. These are super absorbent but as a result, take quite a long time to dry. Highly recommend 😉

    • Thank you for the tip. I don’t think I mind them taking a long time to dry as long as they’re functional when I need them to be. I’ll check them out!

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