Planning for another baby| Pregnancy Diaries

Ever since getting pregnant with Little London I’ve alway envisioned him having a sibling.  I suppose you  keep to what is familiar, and I grew up with an older sister so I couldn’t imagine a childhood without a sibling.

However his birth and the first year after his birth which I found quite difficult certainly put me off the idea of another baby for quite some time.

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Although I was never diagnosed with post natal depression, I do think I suffered from it silently and with this pregnancy I’ve been much more open with my midwife who has it down on my notes to make sure I’m given the support and I’m watched more closely in case I need that help.

My plan before having my son was to have two children with a two and a half year age gap.  But when the time came for us to start trying to get that wanted age gap, I just wasn’t ready mentally, physically and certainly not emotionally.  I would never have coped.

The more time that went by, the more worried I became that Little London might end up being a our only child.  My mind set just didn’t seem prepared at all at the prospect of doing it all again.

This year though something changed.  My son is now more or less self sufficient.  And all this has helped me relax into being the mother I wanted to be.  But it’s also made me pine for those days when he was younger.

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I started to actually miss those newborn days- and I never thought that moment would ever come because I despised those days with my son.  I struggled massively.

But surprisingly, something shifted and the time did come.  I wanted to be able to curl up with a newborn and take my time watching it grow and learn.  I didn’t want to rush through things like I did with Little London.  With your first born everything is a milestone you want to tick off.  With a second baby I think you want to slow those milestones down because you know they aren’t that little for long.

I want to be able to share having a newborn with my son who I absolutely adore and who I know will make the most amazing big brother.  And mostly I want him to have a sibling that he can grow up with, play with.  Laugh with and enjoy summer holidays with.  I want to watch their bond develop knowing they’ll love each other for eternity.

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My one stipulation though when getting pregnant again was to avoid being pregnant in the summer.  With my son being a December baby I had to endure the full summer heat with him, and it was unbearable.  I get really hot when pregnant (my one birth concern with Little London was not having enough fans in the room) and coupled with low blood pressure I would often feel really faint and ill with him.  I remember having to eat dinner in a bath tub of cold water when I was pregnant because I couldn’t cool down.

And when he was born the weather at the time was dire.  It was around that time when it continuously rained and most of the UK was flooded.  It meant after having him I was restricted to the house.  It was cold outside and I didn’t want to take him out for fear of him getting ill and of course I didn’t want to get wet from the persistent bad weather while I was recovering from a  c section.  Having to sneeze wasn’t something I wanted to encourage.

So with the clock ticking I figured we’d try and conceive to be pregnant this winter.  We actually left it a bit late because the house purchase became our main focus.  But luckily we got pregnant straight away, but had we not we may have tried for another month before waiting for the winter afterwards.

I’m really hoping this time around I can enjoy my newborn and I can take things at a much more comfortable and sedate pace.  With the baby due in May the weather should mean I’ll be able to get out and about.  And Im hoping with the care I’m under if I do find myself struggling I’ll feel more confident on seeking that help.

thelondonmum

56 Comments

  1. I’m so glad you opened up to your midwife about how you was feeling and the possibilities of previously suffering with PND. I think the hardest for some is to admit and seek the help/talk to someone so I’m happy that is being monitored. I’ve always been told pregnancy during summers are no fun and you’ve fully convinced me more. Hopefully with the cooler temperature it’s a lot easier to handle x

    P.s. love love your photography.

    • Hahah I literally tell all my friends to plan winter pregnancies. Although saying that some women do cope in the summer, I just have no idea how!

  2. Aww I can totally relate to this! I would love a third at some point but definitely not ready so the age gap is really getting pushed! My two have a small age gap as my second was a boit of s surprise so no thought was needed, but I really struggled and if I had another I would really want to appreciate the baby days. I think I’m overthinking it at times though! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

    • Those surprise babies are definitely hard to get your head around I think. My first was a surprise and I really struggled with suddenly becoming a mother.

  3. Being pregnant in the summer is a real worry, isn’t it? Like you I run warm and have low blood pressure, the thought of adding pregnancy to proceedings is quite stressful!

    • I just felt like I couldn’t do anything because I’d get so hot and need to sit down wherever I was- sometimes on shop floors because I’d end up dizzy and sick. It’s just not a good combo! lol x

  4. I know quite a few people who have suffered from PND, it is a lot more common than people think it is. It’s always best to take your time planning these things rather than rushing in, it sounds like you’re in a better place now to think about that next step. Wishing you lots of luck in your pregnancy and congratulations 🙂

    • Thank you, yes I think this time I’m much more aware of my feelings as well and know there is support as long as I ask for it.

    • I hope so, the extra daylight hours will already make it feel much nicer I hope. x

  5. It’s wonderful you were able to conceive straight away and be able to go through the pregnancy during winter when it would be easier on you. I’m glad your midwife is aware of the struggles you had after Little London was born and will be there to step in with support should that happen again this time.

    • I was very surprised at how quick we managed to conceive, I honestly thought we’d be more likely for it to happen next year. My other half is slightly gutted it worked first time 😉 haha x

    • I will this time around, I know that the sleeves night won’t last forever and neither will the round the clock feeds. So I’ll accept it a whole to more second time around I feel 🙂

  6. I was only with hindsight that we realised that my wife suffered from PND after our first child. Things were so much easier the second time around.

    • It’s hard to admit to it or feel like the way you feel isn’t quite right when you have nothing to base it on. Glad to know things were easier second time around for you both. x

  7. After having my first I didn’t want to wait too long for him to have a sibling, watching him play on his own knowing I couldn’t always play because I had things to do make me feel so bad! He now has a younger brother and they are like 2 peas in a pod! I remember being heavily pregnant in the summer, getting married and moving house it was all so stressful!

    • Yeah I do too. I just don’t think I would have managed before now and it would have been so detrimental to my families lives. x

    • It’s so tough in the summer. I figured we’d save money on heating bills if I was pregnant in the winter 😉

  8. Oh how lovely for you! Babies are hard work and especially when it’s your first, everything is new! Once Abbie was born I said I’d never have any more, I felt like I had to say to others maybe one day but deep down I knew that wasn’t the case. She’s 4 now and I know I don’t want any more still, I couldn’t imagine doing it all again, but she is my whole world and I feel complete with one, I don’t even get broody! Lol. Her Dad and I are no longer together so she can still have siblings from him, she doesn’t miss out on that 🙂 x

    • I can totally understand that. I figured if we struggled to have baby 2 I’d still be more than happy that I had my son and he would be more than enough. x

    • I think planning for a baby is hard full stop. Our first was a happy accident so it took that control away. But for many women choosing to have a baby must be so difficult!

    • It really is, I remember looking at other women who were pregnant at the same time who were wearing clothes I couldn’t even fathom- I needed literally next to nothing on me lol. x

  9. Congratulations on your pregnancy. It is brave of you to open up about post natal depression. I think that it all works out as it is meant to.

  10. I was always afraid of PND as I had it 3 out of 3 times with my 6. It’s just awful beyond words. But great to see you blogging about it as it affects so many of us nd needs to be talked about x

    • It’s just totally out of a woman’s control. There’s nothing you can do to prevent it but at least I’ve come to realise there’s a lot of help out there to help me should I get it again. x

  11. This was so insightful. It’s interesting to see someone planning their pregnancy and also being very open about your post natal depression – identifying it now will only help in the future (although it doesn’t really comfort how you felt).

    • Planning a baby is tough lol.. you know how many months it takes, how tough it can be and then how restricted you are for the first few years. x

    • That was the original age gap I wanted but when it came around there was no chance lol. x

    • Yes I do too. I realise it doesn’t make you a bad one to ask for help and rather than just struggling if I need medical advice then I’m open to it 🙂

  12. This is such an insightful and brave post. I’m sure it’ll be helpful for many Mums. I hope you and your family have a lovely Christmas.

    • I hope it will. At least for those mums that want a second but just aren’t there yet. 🙂 xx

  13. Brilliant Post & Brilliant ‘photos !!!
    LATEST STOP PRESS RELEASE … an editorial addition to the LondonMum ‘family prep post’ … from a (vastly under paid) member of the Dorset ‘numpty’ branch of the LondonMum news agency correspondence society.
    Dateline:- MAY 2017 … A HEADLINE POSITIVE PREDICTION for our LONDONMUM!
    Irrespective of who we will all have the privilege to meet-n-greet in May 2017 – whether he, or she, be another mighty rugby playing LittleLondon warrior (Senior) or a new ‘Mum like’ LittleLondonPrincess beauty (Junior.) …
    HE, OR SHE, WILL HAVE THE ‘BESTest’ MUM HE, OR SHE, COULD EVER EVER WISH FOR!”
    But in the meantime, we will all have to be patient … our ‘wait’ goes on – AND – the LondonMums ‘weight’ goes on ha! Hope all’s going well. Onwards LondonMum. – “O” awaits thee.

      • As promised … “THE EAGLE HAS NOW LANDED!!” … &, (sorry LondonMum,) another “O” from the B+WC this time for LITTLELONDON haha! No more Christmas gigs this year now – so, we left ahead of schedule – in Midlands & Lucy’s actually driving this turbo powered ‘gin palace’ haha!! 2 hours driving down … only 13 to go! So, equal sharing from now on … 80/20 haha! HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A BRILLIANT CHRISTMAS LONDONMUM (both exterior & interior members ha) … hope you’ve read your Christmas “instructions” LondonMum haha!!! – I’ll now leave you to it … ‘BEHAVE’ hahaha … & a Merry Christmas to “one and all.”

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