By the time you read this I’ll be either further along in my pregnancy or else the pregnancy has come to an end. I suppose that sounds drastic, but it’s such early days that it’s hard to really know where this pregnancy might lead, and I like to be practical because it’s not uncommon to lose a baby within these next 12 weeks.
According to dates I’m currently just over 4 weeks pregnant. I took the test a few days ago on the day my period was due.
As soon as I saw the line come up on the test, I actually decided to text my sister and a friend first with the news. Yep, even before telling Mr London Mum.
But as it was on the day that we were getting the keys to our new house I wanted to give him something extra once we got the keys and we were through the door.
New house, new baby.
There were lots of hugs, kisses, cuddles and trying to see if Little London understood the concept at all. He didn’t.
We celebrated that evening with a little dinner at a local pub and my last glass of Prosecco.
Even though I’ve waited to tell you all the news, that’s simply because I want to make sure it’s confirmed by scan and also it gives me time to tell all my friends and family first, who I think should always be the first to hear this type of news.
I’m not one for superstitions, as soon as I’m pregnant I’ll share the news with whoever I come across. Like I say to my other half, whether this pregnancy goes full term or not, the fact of the matter is that right now I’m pregnant.
If things go wrong that doesn’t mean I was any less pregnant, and rather than having to deal with things in silence I need people to know because I’m the kind of person that requires support.
As it stands I’m not positive this baby will make it to the 12 weeks. I’ve had such bad cramping and spotting, which I know is a common symptom in early pregnancy.
But I didn’t have any of that first time around. And the cramping gets much worse when I’m stressed or moving. Being with a toddler all day long doesn’t exactly give me much respite for rest so I’m in constant achey crampy pain. It feels like I’m on my period and the pain is there pretty much all day long at the moment.
I’m also really prone to headaches right now and occasionally a wave of nausea hits me, but luckily it goes away again.
Annoyingly, one of my first pregnancy symptoms was a good old fashioned bout of thrush. Hormonal shifts didn’t do much to give me a comfortable start. I’ve had it on going now for about 5 days and I’m using over the counter canestan cream to treat it.
Talking of hormonal shifts, I think I’ve cried pretty much daily since finding out I was pregnant. Tears of happiness, tears of sadness, tears from watching adverts on TV, Facebook videos. Even tears at the film The Jungle Book. God I can’t wait for the hormones to settle a bit.
I’m not sure how often I will write updates. I’m not one for going through the vegetable or fruit spectrum or saying what is happening to the baby that specific week. Instead I think I’ll write as and when I feel like I need to.
For me pregnancy is less about the physical side of things and more about the emotional side of things. In my last pregnancy I bottled up how I was feeling which really was detrimental to how I coped once I had Little London, and I really don’t want to return to that place. So I’m hoping to be as open and as honest about pregnancy this time around.
At the moment I am struggling at home with my toddler, he seems to really be playing up at the moment; which I can’t blame him for, with the house move everything is a bit up in the air and he’s acting out.
My patience seems to really not exist at the moment, and usually it’ll frequently end in me crying. He’s a loving boy though and he’ll come over to give me kisses and try to make mummy happy, but it’s just such a struggle for me.
I don’t know if the things I’m finding stressful are things that warrant me being stressed or if I’m being too hard on him or even if this pregnancy is making me less patient with him.
When he goes to bed at night I feel so guilty because I know our time is borrowed now that he has a sibling on the way. It’s just typical that this week my other half is working constantly and because he works in film some days I won’t see him at all as it’ll be long past midnight by the time he gets home and he’ll be up again before we’re awake. It’s tough. Tears have been flowing but I’m hoping to perhaps just try to regain that bit of confidence in my parenting and give my son whatever it is that he obviously needs because he’s not getting it right now.
Do you have any tips at all for how you dealt with any of these issues in early pregnancy?