Tentatively I sat in the waiting room at the hospital waiting for my name to be called.
As I’d walked in I had spotted an Asian couple at the end of the hallway sitting on some chairs. They were expressionless but I noticed the soft caress of the man as his arm was draped over his wife’s shoulders.
Not long after I sat down I overheard the nurse say she would take them to the birthing unit to get booked in. I’m guessing her baby didn’t show up alive and she was being booked in to have it removed.
My heart sank for them.
The lady on the chair next to mine was called in with her family next. She was with her husband and one year old daughter. She came bouncing out. Her news was obviously good.
Then it was my turn. My name was called and I was taken into the room.
As expected there was a bed for me to lie on. Instead of the internal scan being done straight away though my physician did the normal standard scan. She spotted the sac straight away. She told me that was good news. But surely the news is only good if there’s an actual baby inside.
This is where the internal scan came in. Being so small the normal scan can’t pick anything up but after inserting the internal scan she was able to locate the sac and see the baby.
And it’s heart beat.
And true to the dates I have, the baby measured 3.2mm which makes it around the beginning of the 6 week mark.
While she continued to search using the internal probe to locate the cause of the bleeding I have to admit things started to get a bit uncomfortable.
But there was absolutely no reason for the bleeding to be found.
Funny really because once she removed the probe and handed me a tissue to clean up there was blood on the tissue.
Because they can’t locate the cause of the bleeding they can’t tell me if it’ll stop or continue throughout my pregnancy. She did say it could be due to the scar tissue surrounding my caesarean scar as my uterus expands. Well that’ll be exciting when I start to get really big.
I shouldn’t complain, the baby is alive and for now it’s perfectly formed. I just wish I knew what the pain and bleeding was from.
I would have loved to have shared a picture with you, but we weren’t offered one and it felt wrong to ask if we could have one knowing people were going in for the same reason as I was there. And for many families they’ll be leaving the early pregnancy unit heavy with their loss. A picture means nothing in the grand scheme of things.